The Transition Sabbat/ Any ideas????

Ok, so I think I have mentioned here that I have four boys. Let me go into a bit more detail. Frank is the oldest and he just turned, oh my god I can't believe I have to say this number, 20. Then comes Pete Jr. (we call him PJ) who is 18. Dustin is 13 and Joey is 10. My husband Peter and I have been married for 20 years now, yes if you do the math it was a "shotgun wedding." Our lives have gone through a few different cycles now but this latest one I am finding to be the most difficult so far.  I think I am calling it "The Transition."
Frank stayed with my mother for a year during LPN school and was home every weekend until this summer when he graduated. Now he is living back home for now which is great, kind of. We will revisit that in a second. PJ graduated from High school this summer and is also transitioning but he is moving out to my mothers, which is about 70 miles away, to start his new job as an auto mechanic at a dealership out there. 
So, we have two transitions the younger boys are dealing with now. Frank is 20 years old now, technically an adult but to us he is still just Frankie. Frankie was always the typical overachieving, sensitive, wanting to take care of everyone in the house kind of kid. Now, he is trying to transition too. I get that. I am trying to encourage that. But, here is the hardest part. For whatever reason a long time ago, my boys split up into two and two. They all loved each other and did things all together but the personalities of the four made it so the two middle boys and the oldest and youngest got along better and therefore had a closer relationship. Frankie and Joey have been inseparable for a good seven to eight years. Joey idolizes his big brother and Frankie has always included him in almost everything he did and fiercely protects him. Well that of course, is changing a bit now. 
For instance, Wednesday, PJ came home and we had all four boys in the house for the first time in a few weeks. Which was great. Dustin and Joey had really missed the older boys and were excited that they were both home to hang out. PJ's girlfriend lives out here so he was looking forward to spending some time with her also and Frankie has a friend girl out here and decided to spend some time with her. Ok, I get that, they are getting older they are going to spend more time outside the family unit. But, I also warned them that while they were home, they were going to have to set aside some time with the younger brothers also. So, yesterday PJ brought Dustin home with him to hang out for the day and Frankie and Joey were to hang out together for some quality time too! But, Frankie took off with friends and Joey was left alone. 
The little guy tried to be understanding... he hung out with mom and dad for a while and waited for his time. When Frankie finally came home, he popped his head in the door to tell us he would be out late with a friend and left without a word to Joey. Who, of course, burst into tears of hurt. 
I have been trying really hard to explain to the younger two boys that this is a family transition time. That we are kind of going from a core group of six to a core group of four. It's not easy for me either which I think in my head I am not showing, but is probably coming out in other ways. (Like I have been crying alot more than usual lately!) But change is never easy. My talk with the two younger boys was all about change and how it's hard to mold into a new thing and that our family will be a bit different but we still all love each other... blah blah blah... LOL 
For me? I have set my mind to task of spending much more quality time with the younger two to try and substitute a bit for the loss of the two older boys at the same time! Goddess' all know that I am quietly melting a bit inside too cause my babies are going away. That is it... I knew it was coming... I tried to prepare... I feel as if I have failed though cause a piece of me is broken.... 
I don't know... I am thinking of having a transition sabbat in the back yard. Where we put our robes on and call the quarters and celebrate the older boys becoming men and ask the Gods and Goddess' for their help in this transition. Anyone have any ideas???